Chag Sameach everyone!

As I am struggling to keep the pesach rites this year and convince myself that the matzah that I manage to find in the local supermarket does not taste like the very cardboard it is packaged in (no it doesn't, no it doesn't), I came across some interesting materials on what constitutes proper kosher for passover. For a non carnivore that I am, it does not leave much for imagination. Or for dinner for that matter. after 2 days of staying away from my local boulangerie, I finally headed to the local supermarket in the hopes of scoring some matzah.

Even with my new glasses adjusting to my ever declining sightsight, I did not manage to locate the precious substance. So in all my naivité, I decided to resort to the store clerk, you know these guys in red t-shirts that do not speak any language you can speak and that cannot tell the difference between canned pears and peas. Oh wait, that was in England. there they have to hire the maximum because people cost cheaper than machines.

In any case, I locate the clerk (I think North African) and work up the courage the ask him stright in the face where is the hidden jewel of his store - the kosher isle! with a little delay it took him to process my request, he escorted me to the ethnic food section where he suggested that between the mexican and the lebanese i shall find anything my heart desires. ah bon? I didn't realise mexicans cared much for kosher guacomole but then there are things I still discover. and as for lebanese hummus, with all do respect, why would they make it kosher? Surely not to target the population of the one or two remaining synagogues in Beirut. And I guess neither to increase their export revenues to Israel. Having processed all these confusing thoughts and emotions I decided to go for it: where is your matzah?

And this is when, once and for all, I lost the guy. this was clearly not part of his trainig. I guess he didn't get get to the diversity module in his HR drill. Little does he know, that on the other side of the world, a population of approximately 800,000 people in Israel is creating a market for kosher cell phones. If you don't believe it read on http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/11/02/africa/kosher.php
And just to clarify any possible confusion that could arise out of this admittedly rather confused post, please note that it is not an attempt to bash the local store clerks but to provide a consumer warning. If you find yourself in the kosher cell phone network, you will not be able to call your favourite call girl. or boy. oh boy!